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INTRODUCTION
This is the story of Kasha, a brave Russian dog who immigrated to America. In many ways she was like Laika, the Russian cosmonaut. Unlike Laika, Kasha was able to return from most of her journeys. They say that every dog will have her day. As you shall see, Kasha had many and most of them were quite extraordinary, We begin with her ancestors and the folks who made her travels possible. Chapter one is a kind of pedigree, something every dog should have.
CHAPTER ONE
Once upon a time, long ago before Perestroika and Glasnost, a beautiful princess lived alone with her mother in a one-room flat above a family of shoemakers. Ordinarily, a princess would live in a castle at least as big as the Kremlin - or a least in a place that didn't smell like shoe glue. Yet back in those days, before MacDonald's came to Moscow, there were a lot of poor princesses.
When she wasn't in school, our princess would try and read books written in English. This always confused her mother who thought there were plenty of perfectly good books written in perfectly good Russian.
"Why do you do you look at these foreign books, my precious, when we have so many in Russian?," she would complain. "Come on mama," the princess would reply, "they're not foreigners, they're just Americans. I'm learning English so I can see what these guys are up to."
This explanation did nothing to end the confusion, a condition which was pretty much a regular thing with mom. She was very much convinced that English and American were very different languages. She would often test her daughter and ask her to recite the five most important words in the English language.
The princess loved this test. She would immediately shout; "Hello, goodbye, please, thank you and you're welcome!" If the truth be told, there's a bit of a math problem here. In English there are actually nine words and five ideas. Mom loved to ask this question anyway because the same words were pretty important in Russian too - and the math wasn't as confusing.
In any case Princess Tatiana - her friends called her Tanya but her mom called her Tanka - had a secret reason for all that reading. She was an only child, no brothers and sisters. So she had a host of imaginary friends. They all lived between the pages of used, dusty paperbacks. No hard cover books, too expensive. In those days Tanya and mom were on a budget. With her book friends she could spend as much imagination as she wanted to.
Her favorite writers were Hemingway and Bulgakov. Hemingway was fond of cats, mohitos, wives and chest hair. He was an American. Bulgakov, a more reserved fellow, was content with cats and tequila - actually margaritas. Mohitos and margaritas - those magic potions - are what they are today because of Hemingway and Bulgakov, and those darn cats.
Oddly enough, our princess was not that fond of cats, but she didn't blame her favorite authors. However, she would complain to her mother; " If I can't have a brother, I would like a sister. And mother, If I can't have a sister, I would like to have red hair. If I can't have red hair, I would like to have a turtle or a pair. If I can't have a turtle, I would like a ... . " She would never get to finish because her mother would always interrupt before Tanka finished her wish list.
Finally, one day her mom said; "OK!, OK!, if you want a pet, it's a turtle we will get." Actually, when it arrived, it was a tortoise. As everybody knows, you don't have to move a tortoise from the tub before you take a bath. But if you want to take a shower, a little company is always nice.
Tanya seldom got to the end of her wish list, but if she ever did, she was going to ask for a dog. Then she wouldn't have to worry about amphibians in the water closet.
She wanted a dog like Laika. Not a famous astronaut, just a brave beast. The dog would, of course, have to be fond of travel. Her name would be Kasha, Tanka's favorite cereal.
For now she would settle for a tortoise. On most days mother would roll Brussels sprouts to the tortoise and Tanya would go on safari with Hemingway. Our princess was coming of age in those days. She spent a lot of time thinking about boys and wondering about chest hair and listening to the noise.
Down on the first floor it was always the same - rip rap, tip tap, rip rap, tip tap - the shoemakers were always banging on something. When the noise stopped, Tanya and her mom knew they were firing up the glue pots. That smell was always worse than the noise. Shoe glue smells like shoe poo. Time to take a walk.
Tanya would often ride the tram to the edge of the city and then walk in the countryside. Her favorite spot was a quaint cedar dacha near a pond. The cottage was surrounded by birch, Tanya's favorite tree. She loved the way they danced in a summer breeze. She loved the way the colors changed in the cool autumn. Most of all, we have to confess,she loved the way the bark peeled like a naughty dress.
One day when the glue pots were especially bad, the princess sat by the pond wondering if she and her mother would have to spend the rest of their lives living with shoe makers.
Suddenly, there was a great splash as a large rusty carp jumped from the pond and landed on the grass right next to our princess. "Come on!", she shouted in amazement. "Say girlie, it's early, you ain't seen nothing yet," said the carp. A talking fish is not that rare in the countryside. You rarely see them in Moscow.
"Why have you come out of the pond?," Tanya asked. "Look sis," said the fish, "take my word and gimme a brake, a fish outta water is always a mistake."
The fish was not the handsome sort, like a trout or a salmon. Indeed, he was very gruff and you could say he didn't have the best manners. If you are polite, you do not call a princess "sis" and certainly not "girlie".
Nonetheless, he introduced himself as "Nikita," and if the truth be told, he looked a lot like Khrushchev. He was certainly not the golden fish. As everyone knows, the golden fish is handsome and polite and always says goodnight.
Nonetheless, Princess Tanya, having a kind heart, picked up Nikita and was going to put him back with the other fishes. "Wait, wait," said the carp, "you forgot your three wishes."
Well isn't this a tasty dish, she thought. Save a fish and make a wish. Yet Tanya was perplexed. She would have been happy with one request. She always hated to have too many choices.
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That's it Agatha, for now. So sleep tight and and maybe on another night you will hear more about Tanya, Nikita and the three wishes.
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