So where were we? Oh yes, we left Princess Tatianna by the pond talking to that rude fish. Just as our heroine was about to put him back in the water, Nikita mentioned those three wishes.
"My dear Mister Fish," she insisted, "I would still be happy with one wish."
"Holy mackerel," he exclaimed, "this isn't Montessori school. You have to follow the rule. In a fairy tale, you see, the pretty princess always gets three. Not one. Not two. But three. I can't say that your dream will come true. You ask, then I see what I can do. You have nothing to loose, you ask thrice, but I get to choose.
And so our princess began to ponder and sigh as Nikita watched with one big bulging eye. He had been out of the water for quite a while and to be perfectly honest he was starting to get a little ripe.
So there stood our heroine on the verge of an anxiety attack. She was faced with too many choices, a thing she never liked to do. And she was holding a smelly fish too. She gets three, he gets one, she knew what she wanted, how could it be done?
"OK! OK!," said Tanya, 'I've got it! I would like to have a new flat and not on top of a shoe shop." If the truth were told, things were getting a little crowded at momma’s place now that the tortoise had moved in.
Dear Princess Tanka would often make a decision and then immediately change her mind. A gene from her mother's side no doubt. This was one of those times.
"Wait, wait!" she exclaimed. “If the truth be told, I'm very fond of that lovely dacha on the other side of the pond."
"Oh crab crud," said the fish. "Look girlie, here's how the new economy works. First you get the nice flat, and then you get the nice dacha. And this is also true; from me you get one or the other, not two. And no back tracking. You want a dacha instead of a flat; there's no logic to that. So to teach you a lesson, all you get here is your next wish," said the fish.
Nikita was a bit of an ichthyosaur apparatchik, a product of old schools. He believed in reason and the rules. If you were inclined to tell him how you feel, it was no deal. And of course there's fish Karma. While little ponds produce on small scales, oceans and seas produce majestic whales. It was no accident that the golden fish preferred salt water.
Oh my, thought the princess. Quite a stew, what to do? No flat, no dacha - ha, ha -gotcha. I'm wishing as fast as I can, yet I'm starting to see a plan. I believe for now I will just ask for a man.
"OK! you bug-eyed fish, here's my next wish. After thinking as fast as I can, I believe I have decided on an American. And just that will not do, he should be a handsome prince too."
"Holy mackerel, that's a sack full," said Nikita. "You must be joshing me; I didn't just fall out of a tree. That's not one wish, it's actually three. A prince, an American and a handsome gallant? That's two more than I can grant."
He knew he wasn't the golden fish, but he did believe he could handle the American thing. 'Handsome' and American might be a bit of a stretch. But a prince too? Momma was not the only one confused about England and America.
Our heroine was now down to her last choice. No new flat, no dacha, and no American prince. What other earthly delight could make a young girl's heart take flight?
Now I must really give this some thought, she pondered, without becoming overwrought. Didn't I have another list somewhere, one that included red hair? Let's see - a sister, a brother, a turtle or some other? Couldn't be another amphibian like a frog. I have it! I’ve got it! I remember! I have always wanted a dog!
"A dog," said the rusty carp. Finally, a logical request and its singular, thought the fish. Now all we have is a haggle, not a gaggle.
"Why a dog, my pretty?" said he.
And so our princess took a deep breath, smiled ever so coyly and replied; "Unlike my favorite tree, a dog could take a walk with me. And on our many walks, perhaps she could learn to talk. She could also learn to fetch and run. Down in the park, that would be fun. And on some cold dark night, if scary things give me a fright, I would smile, dream and not care, because curled beside me, she would be there."
Holy mackerel, thought the fish, this kid's getting better and I'm not getting any wetter. Technically, a 'talking' dog would be two requests. However, if she modified the request then he could logically tinker with the answer. If her wish were actually two, a half a dog might have to do.
Now at this point, you either believe in fairy tales or not. It just happened that Nikita knew a white wolf that had been quite taken with a certain beautiful black seal and they fell in love and you know how those things go. Before you could say mixed marriage or broken home, the stork brought a lovely brown baby with the face of a seal and, well, the body of a dog.
As everybody knows, a wolf must spend most of it's time in the forest and a seal must spend most it's time in the ocean, so half-dog spent most of her time in day care or at the pond with uncle rusty carp.
So that's how our fair princess met the puppy who was perfect in every way except that her breath was always a little fishy. Here again, that's the kind of thing that comes down on the mother's side. Of course, Tanya named her Kasha in keeping with her original intentions. The fish returned to the water and Tanya took Kasha back to Moscow where they both lived happily ever after, as we shall see.
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